Even if I had loooong hair last year, the idea of cutting it short was ok with me. I was afraid of getting bald because I might not have the perfect shaped head for it. Early on, I decided to have my hair cut short (a bob) right after the wedding to "ease into" the transformation. Two days before my 1st session, I had it cut shorter, ala Miley Cyrus. I read somewhere that a lot of women get depressed at the sight of falling hair. I mean, who wouldn't? Getting large clumps of hair while combing your hand through it can really be nerve wracking. Then finally, 2 weeks after my 1st session, my hair started falling. It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be, but it was making a mess of my pillows. Then, when I'd take a bath and dry myself, hair would stick to the towel and my body, leaving me all itchy like I had an allergy of some sort. So I decided to drop by Xavi's old barber shop on my way out. There they trimmed my hair with a clipper using the #3 setting. I loved this haircut! Slowly, my fear of my head shape was fading away! :) Unfortunately, there were still tiny specs of hair on my pillow, so a couple of days later, I had Mark shave everything off.
When my relatives heard that I was about to have treatment, Auntie Jojie sent me her wigs, head cover, and some scarves she used when she had chemo. I also got 2 more, one I never used. The others I used once or twice. It was summer and extremely hot. I can't stand wearing the wigs. And once I put it on, I have to wear it until I go home coz it leaves garter marks on my head. I had to be conscious that I don't mess it up. So, I finally gave up using them. I embraced being a baldy :) It's funny how some people reacted to my "new look". Some people got right away that I was undergoing chemo, some thought it was a fashion choice, and some retards thought I was just crazy for sporting that look! Either way, the last two reactions were very much welcome coz it meant I didn't look sick ;)
Instead of wigs, I focused on hats, caps and bonnets. They kept my head cool or warm. My head got very sensitive when I was bald. A short time under the summer sun made my head feel like a hot pan was placed on top of it. At night or in airconditioned areas, it sometimes got too cold for my head, it felt like brain freeze or a headache was starting to progress. All of a sudden, I had a new collection! :)
Another accessory I grew fond of were infinity scarves. I loved how versatile they were. I've been easily prone to getting cold ever since, and now that my neck's all exposed, I needed some sort of security blanket. I have regular scarves but find them bothersome coz it keeps falling. I can't wrap it around my neck coz it will be too hot. And then came the big earrings! I didn't own a lot or use big earrings before coz they'd just get caught up in my long hair. So many pretty earrings to choose from! I felt my head was too plain without any hair on it. So when I wasn't wearing a hat, I'd put on some big earrings.
Lastly, since it was summer, I gotta wear shades! It was just too awesome to resist. I think losing the hair pushed me to be bolder with my fashion choices, be more open to new things. Instead of feeling off, I took being out of my comfort zone as a challenge. I accepted that this will be how I look for the meantime, surely I can do something with it?! I guess this comes front my statement early on: I don't want to look sick or dying. I don't want to look "kawawa". Oh, and I guess the best accessory above all is a SMILE :) Weeks after, the people who saw me at the hospital right after my operation told me that it was nice to see me smile again…Was it that bad?? How did I look like? I told Mark he should've taken a photo of me so I know what I looked like. I must've look liked hell for them to say that! hahaha!
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